Lets talk about......

Where do I begin! Been about two days and already there's been high drama. Dropped my wallet...lost a bundle of cash but somehow i am more sad about my lost (expired) college i-card! But that's not the point here, lets save my inexplicable longing for a tattered i-card to be discussed later....

Lets talk business....Wednesday evening i went out to the local yuppie market with two girls from work. Educated, upper middle class, latest cell phone totting with big bags, quintessential 'Delhi' girls. Halfway through our market excursion i realised i was late for a dinner date, the girls were exasperated. How could i abandon there search for that perfect dress to go with that perfect pair of tights (are they really back in vogue? It surprises me)

And then one of them, asked me...'so will the night end on the bed?' I wasn't sure how to react to this question, after all I was just going for dinner with a friends! Still the fact is i am not averse to some heavy petting and snogging on the couch on a first date, it can be fun! And when i said this, it was meet with the most unabashed judgemental look! I felt like i had just uttered a racist term coined by Hitler and the KKK in collusion! The fact that i wasn't going on date didn't seem to matter anymore.

Was it really that wrong of me.... why is it that we are willing to be in serious relationships at the tender age of 16 and yet we treat anything remotely sexual with this feeling of guilt combined with hysteria, saved best for a bubonic plague! Are we really an MTVised generation or rather are we just 'conservative republicans' dressed in democratic clothing?

And is it really just a cultural thing here in India? I mean, if a US senator can be pushed to closet his sexuality to such an extent that he prefers a few minutes of an amorous fling with a complete stranger in some random washroom, can people anywhere really make a claim for being sexually liberated?

This leaves me sort of confused. Why is guilt associated with the greatest pleasure man can know? I am not saying that we should all spend every breathing moment grinding our loins with the opposite(or the same) sex! But why should we feel guilty about doing it whenever we do it.

Lets just say I have had my fair share of lovers/flings/affairs/relationships ( I ain't much for labels) and its been fantastic in and out of the bedroom, but there were some of them who never really felt free enough to express their desires. Sex was more of something to be 'done' rather than...well you know

Maybe that's why I am considered ( by some, not that i am bragging!) a good lover. Perhaps it is the fact that i have accepted my sexuality, I don't see sex as a release, I see it as a build up to an expression of a feeling, a desire just like anger, happiness and so on.

Perhaps when you stop prioritising sex is when you truly do start to feel free enough to enjoy it to the hilt. After all isn't it just another way of expression and once you accept that... perhaps that is when even a kiss can give you the same pleasure as a blow.....Then why frown over something which gives us such incomparable joy.

Doesn't a wife long for her husband's touch, then why is it such a sin for 'single' people to desire the same or for that matter gay/bi/straight to feel the same way....

Why is it that until certified by a piece of paper (read society), sex is such a guilty pleasure and after that sanction (achieved through a hideously over the top celebration) it just over time becomes almost obsolete....

Maybe i am talking all bull...but then again i can't help but wonder.....

Hmmm bon soir my dear reader(s) for now...