Of love, losing and letting go...

I was talking with one of my closest friend's in the whole wide world! She was as usual cribbing about her boyfriend. It was the same story. He doesn't pay attention, he worships his mum ( a very Indian thing!), he never listens blah blah. After having witnessed a million such rants before, followed by week long break ups and the constant cribbing I finally screamed at her, 'If its such crap jo, then let go!!".....

Silence.... and then just one sentence, "I can't seem to let go, you can't let go of love"..... something hit me about this line. Letting go.. why is it so difficult, especially when it comes to 'love'. As Boy George once sang," first comes the kisses.... and then comes the pain". It is strange isn't it? People who give us such blinding happiness can cause equally blinding pain....

I guess this is the biggest paradox of emotions, correction the biggest paradox of love. I have always been confusingly fascinated by love (I know sounds confusing eh). It can make us do some crazy things, it can make us create this whole world with a sun kissed future in our heads. It can (to sound cliched) take us 'somewhere over the rainbow'. But then at the same time it can also leave this never ceasing emptiness.

Or is it just a an age thing, when we are young we are so optimistic about love, aren't we? We dream of this all consuming passion, this feeling that envelopes you in a comforting blanket, our own little safe zone! But then with age, this definition changes, the madness of passion is replaced by this wanting for a more mellow feeling of comfort, of safety of escape...

Yet, when it comes to letting go...we are all the same. Despite age, despite everything else...letting go of a love is never easy is it. No mater what we say, do we ever move on...do we ever let go...

I was talking with another friend about this and he told me of this boy he had once dated for a while, he called him one of his greatest Love's. And while he was talking about him, i could see this shine in his eyes, this sparkle that was so pure so vulnerable. A side of him I had never seen. I asked him, when it ended, how did you get over it?.....all I heard was silence.....exactly like Jo-Jo. How ironical.. a 23 year old girl and a 30 something man, so different yet so similar....

So my beloved reader(s), I still am at a loss. I tried to make a sense of this thing called 'love' and break it down. But is that really possible? Can we ever really figure this out. Rather would we want to figure it out. I mean isn't it this gamble part of Love, what attracts us the most. This sense of not knowing...this sense of risking it all! (Gives me goosebumps!!)

I guess Ms. Winehouse was right, when she coiffed up her 'beehive' and sang, " Tho' I battled blind,Love is a fate resigned Memories mar my mind,Love it is a fate resigned. One I wish I never played,Oh, what a mess we made And now the final frame,Love is a losing game"

Bon soir
(A more cheerier post the next time, promise!!)